Long time no see

Well, howdy.

For my re-entry blog, a vent. Woo hoo, bet you're super excited? And what is this wonderful vent about, you ask? My lovely job! Super exciting, no?

So, here we go...

Backstory: we get our schedules on Tuesdays, that schedule runs through the following week. They're subject to change, which is understandable, however, one would think that if a schedule changes they'd be wanting to let the person know, right? Apparently not.

For instance, my schedule this week read: Sunday - 3-8:30, Monday - 6-10, Saturday 3-9:30.
So, that left Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off. Sweet.

I took the kids in today so that they could each pick out a toy and so that I could check my schedule for next week. Something had been nagging at me all day and I was honestly thinking I'd been rescheduled to work Wednesday or something. Not quite, but pretty close.

They'd changed it so that I was to work tonight. I did not receive a phone call or any other sort of notification. They didn't bother to ask me if I even could work tonight. My guess is that they assumed that I would stop in on every one of my off days to make sure I was actually off.

I was absolutely livid when I saw it. There's one manager there who I don't really get along with. She and the store's main manager were there when I got this little tidbit of Jenna screwing over today. Rather than go to the store manager, I went to the one I don't like. She's made MANY comments over my time there about how f'ed up the scheduling is, and she has kids, so I figured she'd understand.

Shockingly, I was right. She was totally cool about it, because really, am I psychic? And really, can this really be considered calling off? If I didn't know I was to work, it can't be a call off, so ha ha ha.

Needless to say, I'm on the lookout for a better job.

Happiness

I use StumbleUpon and today I stumbled into this site: The Happiness Project. It looked like fun, so here's my happiness interview. =)

1. How do you define happiness?
Happiness to me is more than just a feeling. It's peace, contentment and a physical sensation of well-being. It's doing good things and making a difference. It's knowing all is right within yourself and with your surroundings.

2. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your happiness now verses when you were a child?
My childhood was varied in happiness. Up until I was 4, I'd say an 8. From 4-14, I'd have to go with a 2 or lower. After 14, it would be a 7 or 8 again. Adulthood has also been a mix, but to average it out, I'd say a 7.

3. What do you do on a daily basis that brings you happiness? (and how consistent is the feeling of happiness throughout your day?)
On school days, I wake Helena up with kisses and tickles, which makes us both pretty happy. I clean the house, which brings a feeling of satisfaction. While satisfaction isn't exactly happiness, it's close. I play with Ollie, I talk with Matt. The consistency varies, it depends on my interactions with others and the way I feel upon waking. Sometimes I just wake up "on the wrong side of the bed."

4. What things take away from your happiness? What can be done to lessen their impact or remove them from your life?
The way I'm treated by others has a direct effect on my happiness. If someone around me is in a bad mood or is rude to me, it has a drastic impact on my mood for the rest of the day. There isn't much I can do about it, honestly. It's so deeply ingrained into my being that it would be a complete change of personality to adjust it.

5. What do you plan on doing in the future that will bring you even more happiness?
Finding a job that is more satisfying would be beneficial, I'm sure. However, in the current economy, those are hard to come by. I wand to go back to school and earn my degree. Buying a house eventually, gaining a better self image.

So, if you want to participate, here's the link: Happiness Project Guidelines

It appears as though I've lied

But I really didn't. I had the best intentions of posting a blog yesterday, but I ended up with a busy day.

My mother-in-law had carpal tunnel surgery on Thursday, so Ollie and I swung over there to check on her and we took Penny, her dog, to the dog groomer's. Stayed for lunch and while we did that, my father-in-law took the Santa Fe I'm buying and got a new battery installed.

Once we got home, I had to get Helena and then to Taco Bell. Helena and I then cleaned the vast majority of the house last night. She earned her allowance by helping dust, clean windows and fold laundry. By the time all of that was done, I was one tired momma.

Around 3:30 this morning, Helena came into my room, crying. She'd gotten cold in her sleep and had an accident. Unfortunately, she'd been laying with her knees locked at the edge of her bed and her arms tightly curled under her. Her legs and arms hurt and she'd been calling for me, but since I was asleep, I didn't hear her. =( Talk about feeling like a bad mom. So, once she woke me up, I got her changed and resituated in my room.

So, clearly it was a frantic day!

Today's going to be a bit better and more lowkey.

Coming soon

Yeah, here I am again. I've never been one to be on top of things, but I swear, tonight or tomorrow, a meaningful, well-thought out blog. Okay, well, maybe a rambling, less-than-thought out one, but one none the less. I'm sure you're excited and wondering how you'll manage to wait it out, but keep steady and try to not obsess, it'll be here soon enough.

Trouble sleeping

I'm having a hard time falling asleep at night. I end up hitting the snooze button repeatedly and it never fails that I get up way too late. This makes Helena late for school, which is bad, for obvious reasons.

I was concerned that this was a side effect of my anti-depressant, Celexa. However, it seems to not be. Celexa is known to make people tired, not keep them awake. I went to the doctor today and we decided to try to fix the problem without sleeping medication, because I honestly would prefer to not be medicated to sleep. I know what some people do on those medications (eat, drive with no memory of the events) and I'd really rather not have those effects.

So the plan is this: I'll start by tapering off my caffeine consumption. Once I get the caffeine out of my system by bedtime it should help. I'm also going to start a nightly bedtime routine and force myself to get up at the same time every day.

She said that the act of forcing myself awake will alter the time I get sleepy over time, which I'd read not too long ago somewhere online. So I'll start tomorrow. The big thing is no naps, which is not going to be fun because I love to nap, but I have to get up in the mornings, so I'm going to go all out for this.

I'm clumsy

I am not graceful, I've accepted it.

I frequently walk into things, bump the wall or table, fall down stairs. Usually I don't hurt myself too badly, but my stairs are brutal.

If you look at the above photo, you'll understand why I think they're out to get me. The first time I fell, I was up near the top (where Helena's foot is). The second time, I was about even with the filing cabinet.

The first time I managed to stop the fall with my legs. I also had Helena as a passenger, yes, piggybacking adventures are my speciality. The second time, well, I couldn't really stop the fall, per se. I sort of landed at the bottom on my feet.

The first time, I was pretty banged up. My left calf hit that metal tube in the center pretty hard, and my right shin ended up banging along the rail, which is also metal. The second time, I went straight on my back.

I don't think I should go up or down them anymore.

Elsewhere in the world

I'm already 30.

Imagine my joy at logging onto my last.fm account and seeing it tell me I'm 30 a day early. Technically, not seeing as it is tomorrow in England. However, that doesn't detract from the fact that it's there.

I'm weird this year. I usually really look forward to my birthday. Even if nothing happens, it's still my birthday, so it's always been a good day. I'm not looking at it with the same reverence this year is all.

30's not looking so bad, I guess.

A typical day or two

I saw a blog by a friend of mine, astonishingly located here. So, I thought I'd share my day(s).

On a typical weekday off, I will get up somewhere between 6 and 8. Yes, I'm having a lot of trouble with sleep right now. Anyway! I'll get Helena up between 7:30 and 8, if I've gotten up early, I enjoy masses of coffee. If not, I frantically set it to brew, but it's so slow that I end up not being able to enjoy any at all. (cue end of pouting now).

So, once Helena's up, the race is on. She must get dressed, brush her teeth and hair, however, she's not sleeping well, either. So, she's sort of ragdoll-ish in the mornings. We're adjusting. I help her out quite a bit, because I don't like to get all flustered before that first cup of coffee. So, once we get her assembled, we come down for breakfast. Usually it will be cereal, but some days it could be pancakes or even eggs.

We leave at 8:30 to go the 5 blocks to her school. I'd much prefer to walk, but it's been so cold that I drive every day. I can not handle the cold air lately, it chills me immediately. So, I get Helena to school in about 5 minutes and come home. Ollie's been up for a while now and has undoubetedly gotten into some sweet he shouldn't have. Ollie's the early bird, always up before the sun, then again, he falls asleep quite easily and sleeps well.

Back on topic, once I get home from dropping Helena off, I'll make Ollie something to eat, again with the same variations as above. Then, while he eats and plays for a bit, I'll go online and do stuff around my desk.

I then clean. Not only do I spend 2 hours cleaning every day, I do it so that I get exercise while I'm at it. Go me! I have these nifty spiral stairs, but they're steep. I probably take 40 trips up and down each day, I've fallen once on them and that will never be happening again.

I do a load or two of laundry and play a video game with Ollie between cleaning projects. It's invariably Lego Star Wars The Comple Saga. (He'd insist I include "The Complete Saga," it's got some prestige, I guess).

Helena's out of school at 3:05 and I'm usually early. I try to leave by 2:45, the school is close, but parking is a hassle. They have it set up ridiculously. The school is on a huge lot. There's a massive baseball/soccer field, a playground and plenty of open space. Instead of using this open space to free up the road during drop off/pick up times, everyone parks on the street and walks to the school. Not that there's an issue there, the issue is the school busses. There are three and they all let kids off at Helena's school for the latchkey program. So, chances are that you're going to have to wait at the red bus lights. One day the second bus had it's stop lights on while the third bus was parking but the third bus was trying to park with a car in it's parking spot that was blocked by me, stopped by the stop lights. Oh, the irony. And the tangent is over. =)

Alright, we come home after picking up my peanut, Helena. Then there's a snack of some sort. Cookies, crackers, pizza, fruit. Then Helena does her homework and Ollie is back to doing what Ollie does. Freaking Lego Star Wars The Complete Saga. I've taken it away, doesn't matter, he'll switch to another game. Take away the Wii and he's on to a certain movie or show. It'll never end.

After homework is Helena's free time. She gets to play with Ollie or hang out in her room, whatever as long as she's not pissing her brother off. I make dinner then, sometimes Helena will help me. After dinner I might or might not do the dishes. Sort of depends. Then it's bathtime for both kids. After baths, bedtime! Woot! Yeah, except Helena stays awake for like 2 hours. I let her read one chapter a night of Charlotte's Web and then she's to go to sleep, but she just lays awake or will come whine about some malady.

Ollie will pretty much zonk right out. He's sort of a goofy kid, we go tomorrow for his speech evaulation and he's so excited. After the kids go to bed, I clean up again a bit and then play online for a bit before I go to bed.

On the nights I work, everything is the same up to where I make dinner. I sometimes do and sometimes don't on the nights I work. Then I go fold clothes, or sort them by color and style for a certain amount of time. I also talk to people who I think are ridiculous. I set up layaways for people. I sell jewelry and thank God nightly that I'm not into gaudy jewelry. Then I come home and put the kids to bed.

The next day, repeat.

Thirty

In a few days, I'll be thirty. I'm not going to lie and say I'm all cool with it. I'm really not. I figured it would be alright, just another number, but that is completely not how I really feel.

I'm scared. Don't misunderstand, I've accomplished a lot with my life, I'd like to think. I just keep thinking about the things I didn't accomplish. I didn't finish school, which has a direct effect on how much money I make. I know there's still time, but I had these lofty goals to reach by now.

College education, own a house, have 3 kids. None of which has turned out right. I'm blissfully happy with the two kids I have, but I always saw myself with 3. I'll be discussing that at a later date.

I sort of feel like a failure, in some ways. I'm not doing what I thought I'd be doing. I'm sure this feeling will pass, but not until after I hit the big 3-0.

I'm still here

It's been awhile, but I'm still hanging around. Been a bit busy and having trouble coming up with ideas. I have something in mind.

So, there's this song.

Surprise, surprise, it's by Dave Matthews.

Anyway, it's the song in Because of Winn-Dixie, and it's beautiful. The story is that he wrote it for his daughters.

I am not a lucky man...
I am not a lucky man...
You are like a butterfly
A caterpillar's dream to fly
So bust out of this old cocoon
And dry your wings off
Butterfly
Go ahead, and fly
It's always such a lonely loom
It's sudden like a broken bone
And your luck won't always come along
So dry your tears away
Butterfly
Go ahead and fly
Dry your tears away
Butterfly
Don't you, cry

Listmania

I like to make lists. Lists for everything. Things to clean, things to buy, places to go, things to do, things I want but will never get (like an Audi or the decorations for my dream house). I make lists for me and for the kids. They have a nifty morning/afternoon/night checklist up on the dry-erase board.

For instance, my to-do list for tomorrow is growing exponentially as I type. I look around or ponder for a second and three or four more things pop into my head to add to the list. Have a look:

Kids baths
Wash laundry
All trash out
Straighten up downstairs
Fully clean upstairs (tub, toilet, bedrooms, loft, etc.)
Sort through pc video games/take kids' games upstairs
Buy blank DVDs
Use said DVDs to backup pictures and music on pc
Call DHS
Buy milk
Fold/put away laundry
Vacuum up and down stairs
Go through "big box of clothes" in Helena's closet
Do dishes
Clean out cars

Heh, I'll think of more in the morning, I'm sure. The kicker is that about 1/2 of those will end up on Thursday's list, not because I failed to do it, but because it will need to be done again. Then again on Friday. Then every day after that, too.

Today is the day

It's Inauguration Day.

I've voted in three elections and twice I picked the guy who lost. I wanted Al Gore to win, was meh about Kerry, but he wasn't Bush, so I went for it. This time, though, was different. I didn't know who to vote for during the primaries. I considered voting for Hilary. I considered voting for Barack. I took a lot of time trying to decide on whose views were closer to mine. Then, Hilary cried. Yes, that's all it took. I realized that Hilary wasn't being herself, she was not staying true to her beliefs. I then decided to go all out for Barack. I voted for him in the Indiana primary. He did not win Indiana, which wasn't a surprise, though he did win the area we lived in, being next door to Chicago and all.

Then we moved and I had to absentee vote. Again, I confidently voted for Barack. And he won. I can't explain how sweetly happy I was on election night. He is the right person for the job. A person who would stand up and proclaim hope in these times deserves a chance to prove that he can do this.

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. "
"There has never been anything false about hope."

It's time to make things right.

Snow, snow, more snow

It's snowing again. I love when the snow falls, it's so peaceful and quiet.

You walk into my days, love it gives me hope

This child makes every single day a little bit better. She's my light, my hope and my peanut.

"do you remember
when you were small just up to knees oh
how everything seemed so large...
...just take the time to wonder why
you're not so small now anymore"
-two step intro, 7.06.2001, dmb

On one hand and then again, on the other

My mom and I have an interesting relationship. I haven't seen her since 2002, we talk on the phone, I sent pics. That's about it. We don't have a typical mother-daughter thing. So, last year she called me and told me that they'd found a tumor behind her right eye. Knowing my mom as I do, I was a wee bit doubtful. Which in turn, brought out a whole bunch of guilt. She made me promise to not tell my grandmother and apologized for years of wrongs. Now, don't get me wrong I love my mom, but sorry's not gonna do it.

We moved to the area my mom grew up in this autumn, and she and I talked and it seemed as though she'd be moving here. Well, no. Instead, she's moved to the Houston area because there's a cancer clinic there. Because, you know, there aren't any cancer clinics around here or anything.

So, this is something I'm taking as a mixed blessing. I'm glad to not have my mom close because we'd probably end up killing each other within a month, but on the other hand... it'd be nice for my kids to get to know her.

Shake your booty

You might need to crank the volume to hear Ollie's "shake your booty" song.
I took this off of the camera, so the quality is iffy, but it's damn funny stuff.

God, I love this kid

I am so happy to be this boy's momma. He's a sweet, cuddly little man.

Sometimes the news just isn't

How on earth can this be news? Lack of sleep "raises cold risk"

Isn't this a generally known fact? I can vividly remember being told by my mother that if I didn't get enough sleep, I'd get sick.

I'm wondering how much money Carnegie Mellon spent on this research.

The best things in life

They may not all be free, but these are the things that make me happiest.

my daughter's giggle, my son's hugs, my husband's smile, hanging out with my sisters, tickling my nephew, payday, diet pepsi, coffee, fettuccini alfredo from the olive garden (along with an alfredo boat for the breadsticks), pizza hut's pan pizza crust, driving, cranking the music way up, warm breezes on chilly days and cool breezes on warm days, sunshowers, hugging my dad, fresh clothes out of the dryer, that "I just cleaned the entire house" feeling, freshly bathed kids, cherry shakes from dq, paying the bills, steak n shake's frisco melts, dates with my husband, the smell of fresh cut grass, not needing to use the heaters or ac's, playing video games with ollie, cuddling with helena, making matt really laugh, having a place of our own, having 3 bedrooms in said place, my own washer and dryer, knowing i have people who will accept me no matter what, friendships that have lasted the years, new friendships, my kids' baby pictures, knowing my grandfather is watching us from up above, going to church with the kids, dmb's music, good music in general, the sound of an acoustic guitar, going to concerts, adam sandler movies, that first cup of coffee in the morning, the fact that my kids are happy and healthy, having a good relationship with my inlaws, peanut m&ms, harry potter books & movies, reading, watching movies with my family, rearranging furniture, getting all of the clean clothes put away, not needing to go up 3 flights of stairs to get to our place, our car, being in love, creamy nutmeg air freshener, getting a deal, 10% off most things at work, 20% off clothes, having a job in this economy, being able to speak my mind, Obama's presidency, being relatively healthy, having people i can always turn to and trust, being able to learn and grow.

Fun with photos

This site is just too much fun to play around with.

Just came across this

I found this picture of Ollie hidden in my camera today. It's from August. He looks so sweet, hard to think that 4 months later, he'd be kicking my ass with Wii nunchuks and telling me to "Go away! Get out of here!"

Exciting first entry.

First entries are always so exciting. Time to get the preliminary stuff out of the way.

I'm Jenna, I'm a wife, mom, sister, aunt, daughter, etc.

I'm almost 30, as it gets closer, I'm becoming more okay with it. I have two kids, Helena is 7 and Ollie is 5. I suspect a lot of my writings will be about them. Matthew is my husband of 7.5 years and we just moved from the Chicago area to the Peoria area. Change, much?

I work at K-Mart part-full time. It's, well, let's say interesting. I have two sisters whom I consider my best friends. One used-to-be step-brother who's kids I consider my nieces and nephews. Counting them, I have 5 nieces and nephews. I also have one sister-in-law and a very cool mother-in-law.

I've no family where we live now. Well, that's not exactly true, my mother's family is around here, but we've never been close, so it's a stretch. My pops lives in Indiana and mom's in Texas.

I play video games and listen to more music than is probably healthy (see here). I love Dave Matthews Band, the Chicago Cubs, the West Wing and Adam Sandler movies.

I smoke cigarettes and don't eat enough. Consume entirely too much caffeine and sometimes slack off on my household duties.

From my lovely blog you can expect photos, my insane commentary on all things from music to tv to politics and religion. Plus tons of inane rambling that will make your eyes bleed. So, let's do this.